It's time...

to start slowing down and to be still....

I think I was naive to think I could live in another country, study and deal with parts of life I brought over with me...and be still. If you ask me now what have I learnt, parts of me say I don't know where to start in a two-fold way. One way is what I've observed and experienced up-front, but the other doesn't know where to start in the sense that I need time to process it and understand what it is.

I finished my courses yesterday but they aren't finished yet in the sense that I have alot to read, process and thingk about. Yes 'thingk'. That's another entry...

I've only been able to open up a few days ago. Looking back on my entries you can see the pattern in some ways of where I've been (ie. not much about college but more about food etc!) - God had to strip me to the bareness of my soul - through the physical, mental and emotional obstacles I had built up. No more....I feel quite exposed and vulnerable inside, but perhaps in a good way.

I feel in some ways disappointed that it finally happened towards the end of my time at Regent but He has His ways. Also naive of me to think that there would be a switch that would make it happen as soon as I attended my first lecture! I felt something in my heart on Thursday - my last chapel service; perhaps joy. Joy to be re-centred again but also an ache that I can't explain right now. Can you feel an ache of joy? In some ways I feel like I'm on spiritual training wheels and need to consider how to walk with Him again. And how do I walk in this world too? How I do that I'm not sure. There is also fear....maybe a good fear understanding how much is going on in the world and in us humans to de-centre us.

Joy expressed in this song we sang in chapel which means many things in light of my experience the past 3 weeks at Regent.

I just had another thought - this song reminds me of Psalm 139 which is my ultimate go to psalm and also my Aussie Grandma's favourite. My Aussie Grandma introduced me to God and has always been there for me. How fitting that I would end my time at Regent with this. And so the tears of joy flow....

Lord Most High

(Don Harris & Gary Sadler)

From the ends of the earth (From the ends of the earth)
From the depth of the sea (From the depth of the sea)
From the height of the heaven (From the height of the heaven)
Your name we raise

From the hearts of the weak (From the hearts of the weak)
From the shouts of the strong (From the shouts of the strong)
From the lips of all people (From the lips of all people)
Your song we raise Lord

Throughout the endless ages
You will be crowed with praises
Lord most high
Exalted in every nation
Sovereign of all creation
Lord most high
Be magnified