Sameness and goodness

During my time in Vancouver one of the most obvious ways I saw & heard God was in creation - in the BIGness of the mountains and the trees. And more directly in my time at Regent as I was there to learn more about Him and just be in concentrated community of believers.

I was struggling yesterday with being unwell, worrying about going home and generally thinking too much....not thingking (I'm suppose to write more on this!). I hope I'm using 'thingking' properly! A friend wrote to me and reminded me that God is wherever I am - whether that is at home in Sydney, in Canada or here in HK. I guess her point was - whether I decide to stay here longer or come home God is there and still the same, that He can work in my life wherever I am.

For me I think I worry that I will go back to being the same. I've been worrying that when I get home somehow I will feel far from God, that I will be distracted from Him and that I will lose whatever I have learnt from my time at Regent - so I will be the same as when I left. If I am not still I will be distracted. But my time at Regent has reminded me that there are disciplines involved - there is a relationship there that I have not been working on daily or treating as a priority. Trials are not so much a problem for me (I say that now!) as I know they are opportunities for growth. A big weakness of mine is my own self esteem and realisation of my identity in Christ. So in some ways I am my own worst enemy.

I was beginning to focus more on unknowns and negatives than on the blessings that exist and are yet to come.

I was thinking yesterday that it's alot harder for me to see God here in Hong Kong amidst the concrete jungle and the mass consumerism of crowds of people wandering the streets to purely shop and eat. I mean, it's not that people don't do that elsewhere, but that's what people come to Hong Kong to do - shop and eat.

CP helped me realise that I definitely see and hear God more when I'm still and amidst nature - whether it's staring at massive mountains & trees, walking to Balmoral or loving dogs (& now maybe sea otters). Which is kind of funny & ironic given I'm more of a city chic. Whilst doing not much in Vancouver worked for me, I don't think it's working for me here in HK - I think it's because the mountains and trees are missing and it's not exactly the best city to be still in the way that best works for me. But perhaps it's good preparation to find ways to seek God again in different and even the smallest of things.

I think coming here has been a good transition - I need to start getting back into things like being in a city and in crowds. It's not that I wasn't living in reality in Vancouver - but for me being in Vancouver was almost like Heaven.

It also makes me appreciate that home for me has many privileges and blessings which I have forgotten. Whilst I may be going home to having to find a job, settling into a church & other things that are a challenge and all still there - I need to focus on what's good. Can you help keep me accountable?