Praise when I'm grieving

One would hope that one wouldn't need to write a post on grieving, but I guess in some ways I realise I have been experiencing some grief .  The biggest thing has been - grieving the ageing of a parent and the fact this parent has chosen to be 'away' from his family for a year now.

Now that I've written it - they seem like two significant but mutually exclusive challenges to deal with.

I don't really want to write in too much detail about it, but I'm learning to have to really look for the 'good' in the situations.  In the past I have been able to seek what God wants me to learn or how He wants me to grow in situations.  But I've found this particularly hard this time around.

I am thankful though for:

• God's faithfulness to be, despite feeling far away from Him...distant.
• Friend's honesty in not knowing what to say, but just being there.
• Simple things - it's often through challenges that I find I appreciate the simpler things in life more.  Nothing puts a smile more on my face these days than a dog!  Any dog....as long as it's not barking!

I think one of the hardest things about grieving is letting go and trusting God - knowing what to let go of without too much logic.  The more logic I bring into it the harder it is to let go....if that makes sense.

I know God can work miracles.  I need to trust and hope in that.

  

Praise when I'm laughing

A friend invited me over for dinner on Friday night.  It was good to:
...spend time with familiar friends
......catchup
.........be welcomed with home-cooked food generously and lovingly made
............and laugh....alot


There have only been a few times in the past months that I think I've heartily laughed.


Laughing helps me to relax and makes you feel, well, happy!


Blessed to have friends who make us laugh.
Blessed to be able to laugh.
Should do it more often....I even told my Project Manager this week - we should laugh more!

Praise in the evening

Life doesn't seem to stop the last few months - but strangely enough things seem to remain the same for me in parallel with lots of change happening around me.  


More recent events include a long time friend getting married this weekend (I will now be the remaining single person in this group of friends - we met in our graduate jobs), another close friend moving interstate and another dear friend returning to her homeland in Ireland.


I'm a bit sad moreso about the friends leaving.  But I've also been struggling lately with being single and where I'm at spiritually.  But at the same time feeling numb...The numbness makes time pass quite quickly.  Does that make sense?!


Each week seems the same.  And I seem to be consistently tired.
But I'm not unhappy.  Perhaps not content.


A friend who doesn't even know me that well said something quite poignant to me last week.  She mentioned I might need to let go of something I've been holding onto to free my heart up for (a man - in relation to my singleness)....But it made me think my heart has been caught up elsewhere instead of in God.  The numbness doesn't help though!  Selective numbness.... : )


But I can give thanks and praise tonight for:

• Dear friends - whether near or far.
• God's working in my friend C's life and the provision of a husband who has the same purpose as her.
• Despite my tiredness, I still have energy to do things I need or want.  Eg. so tired today but still managed to go for a run, do a load of washing, cook 3 meals, talk to a friend on whatsapp (whilst stretching post run) and sit down with a cup of tea and write this post.

Tomorrow is a new day, praying that the Father would pleasantly surprise me in His purpose for me, even if in the smallest way.

Goodnight!

Praise in the morning

Thank you Lord for the warming sun and crisp air which co-exist on a winter's morning.

Thank you that many of us are blessed with shelter, food, good health and rest.

We praise you for your creation - the birds that tweet, the flowers that blossom, the people who love us and we love.  

Thank you for buttery croissants & freshly brewed coffee.

Thank you for the talents each person has - for my hairdresser, chiro, personal trainer, doctor....Thank you for their passion!

Praise you that your love is new every morning.

Praise

There is a bridge that I love in a song we sing at church.
The song is 'Hope of all Hearts' by Planetshakers.


The way the lyrics and the tune is written for the bridge is encouraging and reminds me to praise at all times and have hope - 'There will be dancing, there will be singing'.  Hope that even in those moments of grief or trial it's only momentary or seasonal.  And the hope we have in Heaven is before us.


Try and have a listen and you will know what I mean.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99-pP-Wzp0k




"Hope Of All Hearts"

The world may fade
You will remain
In the midst of the trial
You will always be, I'll sing
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

With hope and light
You reign over all
Though my heart may fail
You will always be, I'll sing
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

Praise in the morning
Praise in the evening
Praise when I'm laughing
Praise when I'm grieving
There will be dancing
There will be singing

Upon injustice we will tell of our God

The hope of all hearts
The hope of all hearts Is you
Your love never fails
Your love never fails

With hope and light
You reign over all
Though my heart may fail
You will always be all the same
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

Praise in the morning
Praise in the evening
Praise when I'm laughing
Praise when I'm grieving
There will be dancing
There will be singing
Upon injustice we will tell of our god

The hope of all hearts
The hope of all hearts Is you
Your love never fails
Your love never fails
[x2]

In darkness,
In trial, my soul shall sing
Of his mercy, and kindness
Our offering of praise
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

In darkness,
In trial, my soul shall sing
Of his mercy, and kindness
Our offering of praise
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

Loving...

the ambience of this Melbourne coffee shop - the Sensory Lab.

http://www.sensorylab.com.au

Perseverance, Patience and Sacrifice

I've started my new contract 7 weeks ago.  But it was a long while between jobs - 3 months in total.  


After 11 weeks of ups and downs, offers of work arose.  3 opportunities in one week resulting in 2 job offers and acceptance of 1.  I had expected it would take 3 months to find a job, let's just say God's timing is perfect...maybe too perfect! : )


The day I accepted my next job I was thinking - why has it taken so long and why did
He leave it til the last minute.  The next day, like a lightbulb moment, I realised those 3 months I've been able to:
1.  Focus on my physical health - exercising almost everyday and I am definitely stronger and more toned.
2.  Spend some time doing devotions almost everyday (which had previously been non existent)
3.  Be readily available to help friends during the week whether in a practical way or emotionally.
4.  Simplified my lifestyle again returning to the act of simplicity but also the appreciation of simple things.  
5.  With the need for some regular weekly activities, I'm more inclined to go to bible study and church each week to have some people interaction.


There have been a few sacrifices along the way too.  I have had to sacrifice my trip to Canada because I've used the savings.  I will also need to sacrifice my planned trip to Paris in Sept as my new employer have advised it's not a good time.

So unlike other times of trials I've found it harder to know what I'm learning during the journey and more realised at the end.   It has been harder to trust God.  I also feel like I have had to make a few sacrifices.

But maybe that's what being obedient to Him means?

Selling Yourself

So far it has been 9 weeks of job hunting...

Agents tell me I've been lucky enough to actually be interviewed with many candidates not reaching interview stage.

There have been some jobs where I'm missing a skill, a few where it goes to an internal candidate and a few where they retract the role due to budget or role revisions. But for each the feedback is always that I interview well and they like me....and in a few instances they try to find me roles elsewhere in the company.

What amazes me is that we are accepted and enter into jobs based on words - what we write (in our resume) and what we say (in the interview). I can't get over this. Pessimistic I know but I can't help but wonder how many people 'stretch the truth' or sell themselves well despite their actual skills or experience. Part of me feels uncomfortable about that being a christian and the other part feels like I am at a distinct disadvantage.

This morning I was thinking I'm glad I don't need to sell myself to get into Heaven, to have eternal life with the Father. But in a way it's harder - harder to have faith and be obedient to Christ.


'...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus...' (Romans 3"23-24)

Caring

This week is a busy week in terms of anniversaries of marriages & deaths and birthdays.

It strikes me that the ups and downs of joy and sorrow will be experienced by loved ones as they both grieve and celebrate people and relationships.

People often say I'm good at caring for others but lately I've questioned that. At my minister's suggestion I started writing a study on how to care for others several years ago but I never finished it because I am unsure whether it can be that prescriptive because it has to come from within. How do you express something that comes naturally to you to someone else who says they are not good at caring for others?

Romans 12:15 says 'Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.' But how does one do this?

How do you show care without being trite but not too over the top?

How do you show care to someone when you are not sure if they want to be reminded of a passing?

Perhaps the question is - how does one discern how to care in such situations? I don't believe caring is prescriptive and varies in each circumstance but I do believe there are integral elements.

Gordon T Smith writes in his book on 'Spiritual Discernment' (Chapter 10) the following:

'As a friend, we have the opportunity to be the presence and voice of Jesus to others, enabling them to know they are loved, because we demonstrate it and free them to experience the inner assurance of God's love....'

'....we cannot discern well unless we come to terms with what is happening to us emotionally, one of our gifts to each other is to establish an environment in which it is safe to speak of what is happening in our own hearts.'

In light of what I've experienced over the years and what I've learnt since my time at Regent Bible College last May, I think some key things that enable one to care are:

1. To know God and His love for us. To be attentive to his His presence and His Spirit in our hearts.

2. To know ourselves, really know ourselves in mind and heart - strengths and weaknesses. In honesty. I believe you need to be open to yourself before others can be open with you and to understand others.

3. Encourage our friends to be attentive to the presence of God in their lives and the Spirit in their hearts, whether in joy or sorrow.

4. Create a safe environment and trusting relationship free from judgment and pretense.

Further to point 3 - I'm thinking how do we 'free them to experience the inner assurance of God's love...'

At the moment I wander for myself how do I free myself to experience the inner assurance of God's love??

I believe it's by helping to remove the boundaries or obstacles or things that we hold onto that hold us back. We can help reveal those barriers but only the person can clearly define them and let them go.

Listening to people's outpouring of thoughts and feelings and sometimes silence has been key in caring for others. But the challenge for me is to be in the presence of the Almighty and listen more attentively to His Word and His Spirit. And consciously bring that into the times when I am present with each friend....whether I am with them physically or present in mind/heart.

Your thoughts?

Furious love

A friend posted part of the lyrics to this song on his Facebook status. The line 'And it's waking hearts to life' struck me. I've struggled the past few years to feel the depth and width of God's love. I've always been more feeling than thought in my relationship with Him. But I believe this is a season where He wants me to realise this in my head. Re-focus my mind on things above and what that means to my vertical relationship with Him and horizontal relationships here.

I believe the challenge is to realise the Father's love in my head so that it can then help wake my heart back to a life of fullness in my relationship with God.

'Furious' by Jeremy Riddle

Nothing can tear us from
The grip of His mighty love
We’ve only glimpsed, His vast affection
Heard whispers of, His heart and passion
It’s pouring down…

His love is deep, His love is wide
And it covers us
His love is fierce, His love is strong
It is furious
His love is sweet, His love is wild
And its waking hearts to life

The Father loves and sends His son
The Son lays down His life for all
He lavishes His love upon us
He calls us now, His sons and daughters
He’s reaching out…

… and its waking hearts to life
He is waking hearts to life
He is waking hearts to life

A tiny bit of Psalm 102

It has been a while between posts. I have to say I haven't felt like writing. Well I haven't 'felt'.

There have been a few challenges (but normal ones for me!) to get through and I'm feeling a bit numb of late.

I was reading part of this psalm this morning (attempt to do some form of a devotional!) - I don't know why I chose it, quite random really. Verses 3-4 struck me - not in such a depressing way as what the psalmist is crying out:

'For my days vanish like smoke;

my bones burn like glowing embers.

My heart is blighted and

withered like grass;

I forget to eat my food.'

Looking for a job my days do feel like they vanish with nothing to show for them. My bones and body feel like they are burning with stiffness (induced from sitting looking for jobs on-line and also from personal training : )). My heart feels numb...I don't think that is the same as withered. And I have no appetite to eat. I'm not like this due to job hunting...there are a number of reasons why which I won't go into.

What initially struck me was the 'bones burn like glowing embers'...I just like the way it has been written - succinct but descriptive. It's amazing how expressive they were back then. I think these days we can often struggle with expressing ourselves at such a level, not necessarily poetically! And as I read on I can really identify with the psalmist. Whilst I am a bit numb, perhaps I can take comfort in knowing that what I am thinking/feeling is normal. What I should be doing is crying out to God like the psalmist.

And not hide from him as opposed to God hiding from me (v2)....and remember His presence, His Spirit and Word is with me (we are studying Galatians at church and bible study) if I just seek and turn to Him.